All the flowers have bloomed and the sun shines brightly. I love summer and am really happy to be away from midwifery school, aka academia. I have to admit that starting a fifth year of university and being a student again, still seems a bit redundant. At the same time I am following my dream and I can't even begin with how blessed I feel about that.
I know this semester promises to teach me good skills and that all of my courses are directly related to midwifery. I know I need to learn these skills and this knowledge so on some level, I know the medium by which I learn it is not so important. On the other hand, I think the production of knowledge is incredibly important to our future behaviours. Symbolic imprints in our minds inevitably influence how we will be with our clients. Becoming a midwife, I have learned I need to put an awful lot of trust in the MEP. I still don't believe that the MEP creates a midwife the way I think of a midwife. I trust that I will have the skills requiered to practice in a safe and educated manner. I trust Ontario midwives with my life. I just still have reservations about the intentions or mode of educating. Last year I never felt like I had time to consider how our actions impact women, or how to think in the best interest of the individual woman, or or to really connect with the views and emotions of spirituality in birth. That was hugely alarming to me. I get that anatomy class is a cold sterile environment and not the place to even think subjective thoughts so...I get that. I was still very much upset by it. I also know that that I will have a chance to created myself as a midwife when I go on placement, a finally
BE with woman. I just hope that I can see past the cookie cutter and not feel like there is a constant grooming for clipping of the wings. Maybe if I wasn't so dramatic. ;)
Summer so far has been great. I am living with my partner again after being separated for 6 months. So it's been great having my life back that way. I can't help but feel like it is temporary though, since I have to go back to school in 5 weeks, and I still feel a bit like we've rented a hotel room since we moved into a new condo in May and I am not entirely used to it yet. I love it here though and look forward to coming back to it.
I attended two births this summer and have been employed as a post-partum doula this entire time by the same couple who's child was born in mid may. I would share their birth stories here, but they are not mine to tell. All I can say is that I spent little time with a woman in labour as one birth was a planned cesarean for a breech baby, and the other was a 4 hour birth start to finish. Both births were beautiful and I was present for. I think it is safe to say that neither birth was anything at all like the way the mothers had planned them. But that is life. Both mothers did exceptionally well and I am proud of each one.
In other news, I am traveling down to the Southern states in a few days. The point of the trip and our destination is The Farm. It is a dream of mine to visit this legendary place and I am over the moon to be able to go. I can't wait!