The winning Icon!

Mothering Magazine held a contest to come up with an Icon for breastfeeding:

"The purpose of an international symbol for breastfeeding is to increase public awareness of breastfeeding, to provide an alternative to the use of a baby bottle image to designate baby friendly areas in public, and to mark breastfeeding friendly facilities."

I'm not sure when the symbol was unveiled, but I am really excited about seeing the winner. I like that it looks like the standard bathroom symbols we see. I think we can read so much from such a symbol. I don't know that I really like the argument that it will further segregate breastfeeding mothers. I see it more like the rainbow symbol where some years ago it seemed to be everywhere to show that gay people could shop or dine in the establishments...normalizing things makes it so that eventually we don't need these symbols anymore. Breastfeeding should be as normal as drinking water in public....

Amazing!

Animals in the Womb!!

Pictures from the classroom

Prospective students

There was an info session this weekend at Laurentian for prospective midwifery students. I had fun with it and learned so much from the upper year students myself. There is really so much to know!! I remember spending countless hours on the internet trying to get all of my questions answered: how do I get in??!!!

I don't really know the answer and I don't think there is just one answer or way to get in. I know that the class I snuck into is very very diverse. The age span goes from 18-40, some have kids some don't, some have previous birth experience others none at all, some have previous degrees and others not. There are a few doulas, paramedics, nurses, there is also a historian, a tree planter, secretary, and an athlete...it is all rather random. What do we all have in common? An understanding of what we've gotten ourselves into and a strong drive to succeed coupled of course with a strong passion to support midwifery and be good midwives.

If I have any advice to the prospective students, just remember that you're not just applying to be a midwife. There are at least 4 years of school to get through. Midwifery is not just a job it's a lifestyle. Be prepared to be challenged with academics and with change. There is constant change already in 3 months I've been here. 2 students have dropped out, a few have gone through breakups, I'm geographically separated from my partner, we are all constantly challenged with how we perceive things. Mostly I think we are challenged with facing ourselves. You think you know yourself and where you stand, and suddenly you are surrounded with brilliant women who have different views and challenge you to think or see it their way (in a class of 20 that’s a whole lot of mind-bending!)

The whole thing is challenging. But it is a remarkably worthwhile challenge. The group of women I am surrounded with has allowed me to really face myself and we've made room for each other to explore and grow. It feels exponential. Maybe what I am trying to say is that the midwifery program acts a bit like a catalyzer: be prepared for rapid personal growth. The trick is in balancing academics and a strong spiritual journey. Of course, you have to be open to it and it is my experience and not that of everyone else’s. I am sure there are students who see this program as a logistical process: do assignments, move, go to placements, learn skill, get degree, become midwife. It is all a matter of how you live your life and who you surround yourself with. Like birth, the midwifery program will amplify who you are. Just something I thought you might want to consider when applying to become a midwife.

I know there are students out there who wonder if this program is a good premed program. Personally, I'd have to say not in the least. I am sure the knowledge and skills you would acquire are excellent. But to succeed in this program, you really have to want to be a midwife! Otherwise, the challenge just wouldn't be worth it.

To those of you who really desperately are ready for this challenge, my advice is to get all your prerequisites in order and tell the admissions committee what you are made of. You don't need any specific experiences, use the ones that you do have and show them you can do it and that you are worth investing in and that you will succeed.

Best of luck to all of you who will one day make excellent midwives. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you!!

Feel free to contact me birthyourway@gmail.com
try the yahoo group.

Blessingways

There are moments in time that are just plain beautiful. We had a blessingway for one of our fellow student midwives last week and it was awsome! Blessingways are a wonderful way to honour a mother to be and shower her with love, strength, courage and wisdom. There is a brilliant power that comes from being in that space that reminded me of the intuitive nature we all carry within. Women have a wonderful healing power. There is strength and incredible power in the humanity of our actions, words and wisdoms. I was empowered and relieved in sharing and being with a wicked brilliant group of women. I love that we are able to create this space within our journey into midwifery, despite the strange oppression some of us may feel in the quantitative, superficial, clinical and tightly structure academic mode of becoming a midwife. In keeping with the analogy of becoming a midwife being like becoming a mother, the blessingway was in many ways a symbol of our collective motherhood and passage into the realization that we are on our own journey into midiwfery. Of course, the focus was on the mother and child to be, it was just made to symbolize something greater than the journey of one woman but the journey we all share together in supporting one another along the way.

Scenes from the lighthouse

There are about a million little things that I want to talk about here! So little time to sit and enjoy what is happening each day, let alone post about it! The lighthouse image came to me in a moment where I felt I really needed to ground myself. I was sharing these feelings with a friend and she said: silly woman, there is no such thing as grounded! Life is not that static! I don't know if it made me feel better or worse. Part of me thought: oh good! I can stop trying to control everything and just go with the flow. The other part of me said: ARGH! I can't just let myself be swept away like that! So the image of a lighthouse with huge crashing waves came to mind. As long as I am in that lighthouse, all the waves can crash around me and I can choose to participate in their action or to let them stir around me without having to be them. All the drama will be there when I'm trying to sleep, it will be there during exams, it will be there when I'm feeling feisty, or holding a peaceful sleeping infant. It's ironic since I think I am one of the drama driven students, but still, I need to feel like the urgency can wait. I can't always be tending to it. Sometimes I need to just be in the lighthouse where no one or nothing can reach me no matter how much they try.

Since the semester started, I've gone back 'home' to visit family. It was interesting to want to burst at the seams and talk about all the new stuff I've been exposed to and learning midwifery related. But it's strange since I found out that I am going to be an aunt, which was and is extremely exciting for me, I found it challenging to know what and how to talk midwifery. I suppose it feels like the more I become a midwife, the less credibility I have. There is a huge mistrusting of midwifery in my family. It is as though what I am doing is cute and romantic, but with all seriousness, shouldn’t I just realize that Dr. knows best and get over myself?!! It is hugely frustrating. Also, my sister in law is a GP. So it would be sorta politically incorrect for either one of us to claim out loud that our profession is better than the other. I think both have their own merits and values and that neither should be undermined. I often feel silenced in order to protect the integrity of my family.

I feel like I often have the loudest voice in class. I was the only one to say anything when pregnancy was proclaimed as being exactly like a heart transplant. More importantly, the students in class (all midwifery students) said I was distorting the facts and being too negative. One student stood up for me and said I was right in saying that a central tenet of midwifery is that we don't view pregnancy as pathology. It's still early so there is plenty of time for us all to learn right? But what about the fact that we are being taught all wrong?!! My director says I'm feisty. I'm not sure about what she really meant, but I'll take it as a compliment. Either way, I find it challenging to have a voice when no one wants to listen. It makes one want to stay inside her lighthouse, and share a sacred space where those who like to share knowledge can do so in the safety of a supportive peer group. Even when the thoughts are diverse, you know listen and share and learn from one another without putting the other down for having a different way of seeing things. But that seems too exclusive. So maybe there’s only room for me in this lighthouse?! Oh I'll get it right one day!! I'm beginning to really see why midwives say this is a lonely journey. But fulfilling and empowering nonetheless.

Part of the reason I went home was because the CAM conferance was being held there this year. Surprisingly, a group of 8 first year students from laurentian attended the conference. It was a real bonding experience for us. It was great to get to know each other outside of academia. The conference itself was interesting. Very white, very cliqu'y and very expensive. Kind of the old boys club… Only for midwives...always a critic. It was great though to be immersed in new ideas, what people in this profession are thinking and researching, hearing opposing and diverse views on a common platform...I am very happy that I went and experienced the whole thing. I did feel that students had not real voice or place in CAM. I wish that the 'older' midwives who love to complain about how we are loosing the art of midwifery would acknowledge the student and allow us to acknowledge them. All too often, I feel like the generational division is what causes us to loose knowledge intergenerationally. I hear complaints about the 'new' midwifery yet many midwives who blame the new generation themselves don't take a responsibility to us. We are the future of midwifery, and unless we enter in a dialogue, we cannot have an exchange.

Also on the forefront of my thoughts lately, my partner had to move back to Ottawa for a job. I can't help but resent that we are, as midwives and student midwives, always concerned about keeping birth in the community and all that jazz (which by the way is absolutely one of things I do want to fight for and respect)yet the process of becoming a midwife...well it's anything but!! To be able to study this, I've had to disconnect from my entire social network: my family, my community, my peers, my everything. And now I am living without my partner for the first time in 6 years. It is yucky. And still, in my class alone, there are students who have left their young children with their partners in far away community. One student is 10 hours away from her partner and child and she is expecting a baby any day now, so she will likely give birth outside of her community. This week a single mom dropped out of the program and then the placement when we all need to struggle so much just to get by. Don't get me wrong, I consciously made the decisions it takes to be here and I wouldn’t change that. But, why can't we treat student midwives and midwives with some of the same respect that we treat the women we work with?


I realize that this program is still very young and incredibly imperfect. I have a lot to say about that. But the bottom line is, I am following a dream and there are some excellent moments along the way. I have no doubt already forged some deeply rooted friendships here. There are some very amazing women in this program whose intuition and love for women can transcend any b.s. along the way. And I love that most on this journey. There is abounding strength here and it is sacred.